THANKS, NORWAY.
Mathilde SPZ promised to give us a Woman Show, and last night, in the first semi-final of Melodi Grand Prix, she delivered:
Here is a list of things that Mathilde SPZ did during her performance (all while singing vocals and doing Ariana Grande-level ponytail work):
- pretended to be taking a bubble bath
- tossed an imaginary lasso while paying rightful homage to Robyn’s iconic “Dancing On My Own”
- jumped excitedly on a couch like she was Tom Cruise pretending to be in love with Katie Holmes
- COSTUME REVEAL
- convincingly pretended she was interested in the white men rapping next to her
- played guitar on her leg
- jumped on a box
- ANOTHER COSTUME CHANGE
- jumped on a box again but in a cape and managed to do it without tripping
- almost hit a whistle note
That’s a lot to accomplish in three minutes! I think we can safely safe that Mathilde SPZ did the most work at last night’s semi-final.
And yet, as is all too common, a woman’s labor went completely underappreciated. Despite clearly putting in the MOST effort, Mathilde SPZ did not make it out of the heat.
I just hope her record company is doing something nice for her today (like a RAISE) because they gave her a song called Woman Show and she said “How much?” and then exceeded it by 120%.
If you think I’m giving too much credit to a mediocre song, I assure you that I am not. I know just how mediocre Women Show is. When Salvador Sobral talked about trash music, this is what he had in mind. As someone without taste, I will keep it on my Spotify playlists for months.
But Mathilde SPZ elevated that with her energy and infectious fun and her inability to let any of us have a moment to think about how meh the song really is. Contrast that with Gothmeister, who arrived with a great concept and style, and then coasted on some scary makeup to the point where we were all noticing just how repetitive that chorus really was. If Mathilde SPZ had been doing that staging, there would have been bats flying from the ceiling and mummies popping up from the floor and a new jump scare every 30 seconds.
Alas, her genius is now gone from the contest. My first official mourned casualty of Eurovision 2024.
dudepoints.fun 