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A Final Message for the Haters (and Hate Watchers)

It’s Eurovision final day, the culmination of months and months of hard work and training for artists, or, as many … More

don't yuk on our yums, genuine emotion

Germany: Lord of the Lost and Blood and Glitter

Germany, THANK YOU. This year’s German selection had a wildcard finalist who was basically a shock-jock bringing a joke song. … More

banger, blood and glitter, germany, lord of the lost, metal, moar of this, yes please

Armenia: Brunette and Future Lover

This year Armenia is sending Brunette with a song that’s … well, I am not sure it’s a song. It’s … More

armenia, brunette, future lover, half banger, is it good?, plagiarism

Lithuania: Monika Linkyte and Stay

This year, Lithuania Sorry, Monika Linkyte. I’m still not over it. I know it’s not your fault that Pabandom Is … More

ballad, big voice, Eurovision elements, lithuania, monika linkyte, stay

Albania: Duje by Albina and the Familja Kelmendi

Eurovision in Albania means three things: And this year, Albania has once again fulfilled their expected brief (and more!) with … More

Israel: Noa Kirel and Unicorn

*Sigh* I really wish we could scrub the term “female empowerment” from Eurovision. Sure, it sometimes has relevance, like that … More

banger-ish, israel, meh, noa kirel, pinkwashing, please stop with the feminine empowerment, unicorn

Ireland – Wild Youth – We Are One

I feel sorry for Wild Youth. They are an arena rock band that has somehow landed in the middle of … More

arena rock, but why?, earnestness, ireland, we are one, wild youth

Semifinal 1: SHOW GUIDE for LOCALS

Hey all! I’ve just come back from the Semifinal 1 Jury Show and woweeewowowowow. It’s a DOOZY. So I’ve created … More

Take a deep breath and touch grass

People. Stop. Just stop. This is not the “worst Eurovision ever.” Look, you don’t have to like every song. You … More

2022

The insights we *really* need from Pornhub

So earlier this week Pornhub released its annual “insights” from the Eurovision Song Contest, which bascially boils down to “People … More

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