Estonia – Storm

So this weekend, I was in Estonia (which is why there has been a lull in posts) watching all manner of amazing Estonia bands. Some of them, like the magical Caitlin Magi and the badass Sybil Vane, will be familiar to viewers of Eesti Laul, while others, like the soundcloud rapper Villem Drillem or the grunge holdovers Zahir or the Kannel twins Duo Ruut, will not. But it’s clear that for a country with a population of 1.3 million people (to put it in context, that’s the equivalent of the population of 4 boroughs in South London), Estonia is really punching above its weight.

And what did Estonia decide to send to Eurovision? Storm by Victor Crone:

With an introduction like that, I can imagine how you expect this review to go. I’ll decry the fact that Eesti Laul 2019 was decidedly not weird, moan about the fact that they sent a Melodifestivalen reject, and moan even more about his bland acoustic guitar/leather jacket persona.

And I wish I could.

I mean, I’m still annoyed that Oed or Catlin Magi or Inga (INGA of the Monograms) didn’t make it further. I’m still mad that Victor Crone brings up some mysterious Estonian woman to duet for two lines and then POOF she’s gone in the storm. But through the miracle of repetition – maybe even STOCKHOLM syndrome? – I have come to have a love of Victor Crone and his song with nonsense lyrics.

Look, I’m not going to justify it because it’s not justifiable. Victor Crone isn’t even my eye candy type! But I chalk it up to the magic of Stig Rasta to create songs that somehow get into my earholes and light up certain pleasure centres.

Because – no lie – every time Storm comes on, I feel a little better. It’s like mashed potatoes with a meal – a warm, bland, soft, and comforting element. Storm is utterly predictable and inoffensive. It’s got mangled English lyrics (rhyming ‘this’ and ‘this’). It’s got a clear build to it. It’s easy to sing along to. It’s Stig Rasta, on his fourth try, went into a lab and mushed together all the elements that made a good Eurovision song, and came out with this slightly off Frankenstein mess, and I LOVE IT. God help me, I mean I unironically enjoy swaying along to this, pretend lighter in the air, every time it comes up on my Spotify shuffle.

Is Estonia going to make it out of the first semi-final? Given that Victor Crone is following Hatari, it’s likely that viewers will still be gripping their armchairs in a state of shock.

FINAL VERDICT: I rate Victor as “Hey, not bad!”
Look, Estonia is nothing but a try-hard, and you remember all the stuff they did with Victor at Eesti Laul – the CGI background, the mystery singer, the suddenly vanishing guitar. No matter how you feel about the song itself, the staging is going to offer something good.

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