Amen/Amen Slovenia/Austria

 Is it lazy to loop together two competently performed but ultimately mediocre Eurovision songs just because they have the same title?

In the case of the great Warrior/Warrior convergence of 2015, yes.

But in the case of the less-than-divine Amen/Amen confluence of 2021? COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE. If two countries are going half-ass their song titles, I can half-ass my review.

First up, the superior Amen – which I will now refer to as A-Woman to just keep it straight – performed by Ana Soklic of Slovenia. It is an indisputable fact that Ana Soklic has a phenomenal voice. She’s so talented that she even got me, a person who runs solely on caffeinated beverages, to care about water last year. Remember her astounding Eurovision Home Concert?

WOW. Any excuse to post a postcard from my future Slovenian lake house, right? So Ana came back this year and – well, she’s brought a “long gown big voice” lady ballad. (You can totally see the staging when I say that, right?) It’s got some lovely vocal moments that will be complete catnip for the jury.

And yet.

And yet.

This song shouldn’t be called Amen, right? Like, when I sing it, I sing “Hallelujah!” or “Hey Child!” or anything but Amen.

I mean, I know the word Amen appears in the lyrics. But it only appears twice. Hallelujah appears six times. Hey Child appears 3 times. Heck, Storm appears three times.

And this is my major issue with the song (aside from the fact that ballads simply don’t ring my bell.) Ana has three minutes on stage. She’s got the vocal chops to have a standout moment in a recap montage. But that’s not going to do any good if people can’t remember the name of her song. “I liked the one by the lady in the white dress,” is a way to positively describe a performance, but not if you want people to vote for you. There’s not enough memorable about the Amen – sorry A-woman – in Ana’s song to differentiate it from Vincent’s when looking at a list of titles.

And Vincent’s Amen? Oh, Vincent. You sly dog, you. 

Look at you Vincent, releasing a song during COVID times about burials and goodbyes and wearing black and saying Amen. It was a song that I listened fresh off the death of my own mother, and having to help plan a funeral from half a world away. And instead of finding any consolation in the lyrics, I got….

…A SADBOI COMPLAINING ABOUT THE END OF HIS RELATIONSHIP.

Jesus, Vincent. Read the room! We get that you’re sad. It’s a valid emotion. But comparing it to death this year? Now? When you may not even be able to travel to Rotterdam to perform in Eurovision because you could, you know, actually die? 

All I’m saying is – let’s take the histronics down a notch, k? Maybe talk about how this is going to make prom a real bummer or something, because truth is, next year you’ll probably be dating someone else while everyone who’s dead is d-e-a-d dead.

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