The Matt Blxck Mantra

In 2022, I was minding my own business listening to a NF mix when I heard a peal of completely unhinged laughter. The song was an assertive mix of sexual assertiveness and utter disdain, served up with a strong dollop of dembow. In the middle of the song, we got this line:

“I don’t know if you know my name/but it’s M-A-T-T-B-L-X-C-K” (maniacal laughter)

Well, Matt Blxck, I certainly knew your name after that! And I definitely wanted to hear more of your music (and laughter. Please, someone, send me a sample of Matt Blxck’s laugh for my ringtone)

So in 2023, I was delighted to see Matt Blxck return with the song UP (not to be confused with the similarly catchy ASC entrant It’s Up by Sisqo.)

I love this.

I love that Matt Blxck, a man who could have walked on this stage straight from any Primark in the North of England, is out there being his own hottie chaos goblin self, flirting with men, women, and maybe even the elephant in the back of the stage.

Now, I’ll admit, the lyrics to Up are potentially a little sketchy:

Only when you’re drunk wanna go down, down, down
Then you make me go loco, down, down, down
One shot, two shot, down, down, down
Just a little bit of mojo, down, down, down

Instead of Matt Blxck trying to get people drunk, I read it as Matt Blxck – a man who is entirely comfortable in his own skin – teasing a lover who is not yet comfortable with their sexuality; someone who needs to use the guise of alcohol as a cover for pursuing what they really desire (Matt Blxck and his loco-ness).

And Matt Blxck is okay with this! This isn’t about the rejection he might face outside of the club and those shots. He’s the one living life how he pleases, the one getting fabulous booty from people who are hiding their authentic selves when sober. As Matt Blxck asserts in his lyrics, he’s the one who is winning.

And then Matt Blxck spells his name again and we’re all winning.

But seriously, Eurovision can give us no better hype man than Matt Blxck. Is my idea of a good time getting all sweaty in an orange puffer while I pour shots down my throat? No! But the essence of Matt Blxck appeals so much to me. I too long to enter any room with the confidence of a man who literally laughs at his enemies. And his friends. And just randomly because he likes to laugh.

Matt Blxck may not be going to Eurovision as an artist, but he will be there in spirit. I’m borrowing his swagger for every event I attend with strangers, coming into a room and knowing that they should be lucky enough to know who I am. (It’s D-U-D-E P-W-A-A-H, by the way)

So the next time you’re feeling low, imagine that you’re three shots deep, high on hairspray fumes, and an elephant is randomly appearing behind you. And you can not only handle it, but crush it, just like Matt Blxck does.

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