Albania’s Eurovision qualifier is the first of the season, so we’ve been listening to Eugent Bushpepa’s Mall for months and months and months now, and I have to tell you, I still haven’t figured out what its anthemic quality is an anthem to.
Before we go there, can we all agree that Eugent Bushpepa has the best name in Eurovision 2018? Yes? Okay then.
So back to his song, called Mall – which translates into Yearning in Albanian. It’s a love song about how he desires a woman so much that he will give his life to her. And the problem is that Mr. Bushpepa simply gives his all too much to early in the song. It’s building and building and building and building until it hits what seems like a crescendo of feeling, 52 seconds into the song – and then he has nowhere to go. He takes a pause for four beats, and begins climbing again around 1:30 and we feel like this whole thing should be taking us somewhere and then we just end up at the same damn chorus with a few more strings thrown in. I guess Yearning is a good name for this song, because I was left Yearning for a successful end to it.
Look, I enjoyed watching this live, but there’s clearly a larger structural issue at play here which Eugent needs to address before this becomes a winner. It’s an anthem to nowhere. That being said, he’s a tiny man with a big voice, and if you enjoy watching people go all diva-esque with broad notes, you’ll love Mall – especially because Eugent goes for the high notes (and makes them!)
TWITTER JOKES YOU SHOULDN’T BOTHER MAKING BECAUSE THEY’VE ALREADY BEEN DONE BETTER BY THE EUROFANDOM: Orange Julius jokes, or anything else about the title of his song being Mall.
SHOULD YOU TAKE A PEE BREAK DURING HIS PERFORMANCE: Yes, because if you have to pee, this song and its rising crescendos are just going to make you feel like you need to go even more.