Last year, Armenia sent the absolute queen Artsvik with a ethnosynth number that made me feel all sorts of warm empowered feelings. That has nothing to do with this year’s contest. I just thought it would be good to remind everyone how amazing Artsvik was.
This year, Armenia had the chance to send Kamil, a drag queen who wears parsley as a wig, to Eurovision. He brought along a group of fierce women and “Puerto Rico,” a high-energy song in Spanish and promptly lost to Sevak Khanagyan, who has brought the ballad Qami, or Wind.
Qami is bland. It is performed competently, and the staging has little mini stones, to make it look like Sevak Khanagyan is trapped in a sundial. I have seen it performed twice now, and come away each time with a respect for Kanagyan’s obvious talent, but remain unmoved.
In a year when a high-energy song sung in Spanish with a fierce squad of women is tipped to win the performance, I don’t want to say ‘You messed up, Armenia!” but you messed up, Armenia.
TWITTER JOKES YOU SHOULDN’T BOTHER MAKING BECAUSE THEY’VE ALREADY BEEN DONE BETTER BY THE EUROFANDOM: Man, I can’t even think of any jokes to make about this performance.
SHOULD YOU TAKE A PEE BREAK DURING THIS PERFORMANCE: Yes, unless you are a fan of sundials.