Hey look everybody! Svala’s back with a new song and video!
You remember Svala, right? She was the 2017 Eurovision contestant from Iceland who performed her belter ballad Paper while wearing a shoulder-pad heavy power suit and sneakers.
So what’s Svala up to these days?
Look, I wish I could tell you a thing about this song, but let’s face it – I was too distracted by everything that’s going on in this video.
For example, this:
SVALA IS 41 YEARS OLD, Y’ALL. And yet she’s rolling around, literally shaking her booty in this get up.
If I had a butt like that in my 40s (not even close), I’d probably be sharing it with the world as well. And we see it multiple times. Multiple times. Like, I watched this video on a laptop screen on public transport and I legit got embarrassed. I was worried the woman next to me would think I was watching porn, not Icelandic pop. Remember – NSFW.
But in addition to the multiple shots of Svala’s ripe peaches, we also get her writhing around the floor in this outfit:
Like, what are these? They’re jeans with the crotch cut out, but you’ve kept the
legs chained to what is now effectively a wide belt? Also, it looks like you’ve got a boot cut mom jean in an unflattering light wash – why didn’t you just ditch the jeans all together and just go with the bodysuit? Quite frankly, it’s a distraction from the butt (the main star of this video) because we just keep looking at those jeans and thinking ‘That cannot be comfortable’
How do you go to the bathroom in this?
Also, the Icelandic Topher Grace makes an appearance and I forgot that almost immediately because that ass.
Svala, everyone: I want to champion your right to flaunt your body and sexuality – especially because you have obviously done a lot of great work on it – but this whole thing just seems like a chore for everyone involved. I am not slut shaming, but you just don’t seem to be enjoying this that much.
We love you in your power suits, Svala. You don’t need to change your look to make us love you more.