In Beard Bracket 3, we’ve got a matchup betweeing returning Eurovision participant Juicy Papi from Hungary and sacrificial Israeli contestant Kobi Marimi.
Joci has the type of beard you can cry into. It’s a beard made for campfires and folk songs. The beard carries the pain of its ancestors as well as the determination to create a better future for one’s children (because you better believe this beard will get you pregnant).
Joci’s beard is a little too serious for me. I can’t imagine going to brunch with this beard, or a comedy show, or anything fun, and as a recovering depressive, the last thing I need is a beard enabling my misery.
(Image courtesy TV2)
Kobi’s beard is part of a clearly constructed look, the look of a man who accessorises a light wash buttoned up denim jacket with a bow tie and a silver necklace.
This look says: “My stubble shows I’m cool, but my clothes say I’m not.”
This is the beard of a man who is confident that he has it all together, the beard of a man with friends who are too polite to tell him he does NOT have it all together.
(Image courtesy Ronen Ackerman)
WINNER: Look, I’m not particularly enamored of either beard here, but if I have to choose, I’m going for Kobi Marimi. He has a beard that’s decisive and makes choices – not always good choices, but choices nonetheless.
Who do you pick?