Okay, before I get to reviewing Snap by Rosa Linn, I’d like us all to take a moment to pour one out for the trashiest banger never to hit the Eurovision stage:
Poor Athenia Manoukian gave us this disposable masterpiece in 2020, before COVID cancelled Eurovision. And then Azerbaijan invaded Armenia, and Armenia had to sit out Eurovison in 2021, and now they’re finally going to be back on the large stage without, disappointingly, a single reference to S&M.
Instead, we’ve got a wistful twee guitar ditty by the talented Rosa Linn:
I’ve sung along to this during live performances. It has an undeniable charm, falling just on the pop side of the pop/yee-haw divide. But it also seems like a weird song with which to end a show, right? Especially when you could have ended with the murderous furries.
But I’m bringing a bit of baggage to this performance: I can’t hear the term “snap” now without thinking of Thanos:
Oh, spoiler alert, Thanos snaps his fingers and wipes out half the universe. If you’re not keeping up with the Marvel discourse, don’t blame me!
Anyway, I can’t help but think that in the sad years following the snap, when Thanos lived alone in a cabin subsisting on sad meals of canned beans, he spent most of his time listening to Rosa Linn.
“Snap 1 2, where are you…DEAD!” he gleefully cackles.
“Snap 3 4, don’t need you hear anymore. Which is why I snapped half the universe out of existence!”
And then I bet he looks at a picture of his ex-girlfriend on the wall (duh, of course Thanos is straight, mass murder is straight out of the toxic masculinity playbook) and breaking down into tears.
So yeah, anyway, Kevin Feige, contact me or something and I’ll set up the Marvel Eurovision Universe for you, okay?