Sweden – Loreen and Tattoo

How am I supposed to do an objective review of a legend?

I moved to the UK in the fall of 2011. In May 2012, The Person I Live With had gone away for a weekend wedding.

I was home by myself, idly watching the BBC, and all of a sudden, I caught this performance:

And folks, I was HOOKED. The opening BRAAAAAAHHHHHMMMSSS of Euphoria is seared into my brain, causing an instant Pavlovian response. (I both start drooling and heading for the dance floor.)

So I feel bad, because Loreen is not getting judged on the metric: “Is this song good?” but on the metric “Is this song as good as Euphoria?”

Honestly, I don’t think that’s a fair question to ask. We can’t possibly compare a song so legendary it topped the ESC250 for 10 years in a row with a song that’s been out for three months.

With that in mind – is Tattoo any good?

Oh, goodness yes. That opening pizzicato sequence does something to my brain, like Loreen is twanging my spinal cord with those crystalline talons of hers.

And from there, Loreen sells the hell out of the song. For the next three minutes, she takes us on a journey of emotion. What starts off (lyrically) like the polite goodbye of a lover after a one-night stand becomes a soaring paean to the glorious love story between Loreen and this person. (As a side note – if you’re ever thinking about ghosting Loreen? DON’T)

Are the lyrics the best? No. We’ve got the cliches of fire and rain and angels crying. Objectively, I know this is lazy songwriting. But when it’s hitting my ears? My brain goes into shutdown, because my lungs are busy belting out “WHEN THE STARS ALIGN THEN I’LL BE THERE!” You may think this is hyperbole but I’m writing this at my office desk with other people hanging around and just needed to check that no one saw me furiously lipsyncing along.

Is Loreen the sure winner? I don’t know. But what I do know is that when that woman hits that stage, she creates an alchemical reaction that results in pure magic. I wouldn’t be surprised if all of Europe’s voting intentions vanish as soon as the opening notes hit the airwaves.

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