Cyprus – Fuego

Look, Fuego is a pure Eurovision banger, okay? It’s got a gorgeous woman belting out nonsense lyrics (you got me pelican fly fly fly) and dubious rhymes (lioness and silence) in front of lots of pyrotechnics. If you were developing a Eurovision entry in the lab, this is pretty much what you’d come up with. And to be clear, at this point in the night, after you’ve sat through so many ballads, you are going to appreciate the firey realness Eleni brings to this song. Sit back and enjoy.

UPDATE:So it’s Eurovision week and Eleni has brought a fabulous stage show complete with sparkles and hair flips and actual bursts of flame being piped onto the stage and the Eurofandom has gone absolutely gaga for this song, with people already booking their tickets for Cyprus next year.

And yet.

And yet.

Look, I’m about the biggest proponent of Eurovision bangers that exists. I love songs like this. I love stage shows like this. But I also find it all to be a bit…derivative.

That’s not a knock against Eleni, by the way. She’s an incredibly talented performer who’s delivered a song that I have been singing all through Eurovision week. I’m wearing a pineapple shirt as I write this as an homage to her song, for goodness sake.But I’ve seen performances like this before. I’m thinking here of Beyonce’s masterful Coachella performance, where she did the hair flips and the synchronized dancing all without stopping for breath, like Eleni, but with a deeper cultural significance. And with that performance, Beyonce redefined the genre. Eleni is the Beyonce of six years ago, and that can’t compare to the post-Lemonade Beyonce we have now.

Some of you might say that it’s unfair to compare a singer with three minutes to impress to a woman who’s got two decades of hits to draw upon in a show. But I don’t think it is. Eleni’s performance is clearly an homage to Beyonce, but we already have a Beyonce. Whereas Netta is delivering something original, and Alekseev has given us a stage performance that boggles the mind, and Madame Monsieur have developed a socially conscious song with a danceable beat, and AWS bring something that’s absolutely fresh to the Eurovision stage. All of them are pushing the envelope in Eurovision, rather than simply reflecting a carbon copy of popular culture. And I’d rather see something innovative, like Salvador, take the Eurovision trophy home, rather than something that can be written off as Europe’s attempt to do Beyonce.

What I’m trying to say, and probably saying badly, is that I love Eurovision because it’s so diverse, and it’s introduced me to so many new artists, and I want some of that joy of discovery to be reflected in the voting. But as we all know, no fan ever gets what they really want at Eurovision.

TWITTER JOKES YOU SHOULDN’T BOTHER MAKING BECAUSE THEY’VE ALREADY BEEN DONE BETTER BY THE EUROFANDOM: Any jokes about her ‘Fire’ placement looking like she’s doing a particularly powerful fart – this topic has already been covered much better by Pif Paf.

SHOULD YOU TAKE A PEE BREAK DURING HIS PERFORMANCE: There are actual balls of flame flying around the stage. What do you think?


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