Semifinal 1 reactions

First of all, shame on all of you Eurovision voters for letting this piece of batshit magic fall by the wayside. Maybe you just weren’t ready for a performance that ended with a man’s gaping open back sore filled with roses. I guess the term “innovative” means nothing to you, eh?

The shockers tonight:
Ireland gets in!
And no, you homophobes, it’s not just about the fact that Ryan O’Shaughnnessy used his song to depict the unraveling of a non-hetero relationship. Look, get with the times. Even the Taoiseach of Ireland is openly gay. Ryan was just depicting a 2018 reality in his video and staging.
What propelled him to the top were two things. The first was a vastly improved arrangement for the song, with the piano and female vocalist helping to pad it out into something that felt more fully formed. And the second was the excellent staging – not only with the dancers who felt like they were telling a story, but the details of snow. Of course, being in the semifinal in which British voters could vote didn’t hurt.

Albania gets in!
Moving ballads sung in a language other than English are always going to be a tough sell at Eurovision, as both Greece and Armenia discovered tonight. But Albania broke the formula by choosing something with a sweeping anthemic quality – the song kept building and buildings – and also enlisting a singer who could let loose and hit those high nows. Hats off, Eugent.

Switzerland fails to qualify!
Everyone else seemed to LOVE this song so much. I wish I could feel worse for Zibbz, but now I never have to write their stupid band name ever.

Slay queens have come to collect the bodies
What made it through tonight? Netta. Elena. Eleni. Saara. Even Ieva – all women with powerhouse vocals and powerhouse emotions who charmed the crowd in different ways.

Now on to Semifinal 2, when the big question will be: Who will beat Hungary?

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