Cyprus – Replay

I know that the semi-final draw is random, and that it took place long before this song was released, but I know – just know – that someone (Bjorkman?) must have fiddled with the draw so as to ensure that the whole Eurovision 2019 shebang would start off with an absolute bang!

When Tamta’s Replay came out a few weeks ago, I thought it was okay. It filled the need for obvious bangers, and I loved the whole aesthetic of the video – Tamta hiding in the shower, men covered in honey, a female bike racing gang, that amazing pink catsuit – so much to love!

In the weeks since, however, I have upgraded my love and respect for this song by A LOT. Tamta’s celebration of her sexual power is not only a joyous change from breakup songs, but also so catchy. I’ve found myself at all hours of the day suddenly having my thoughts interrupted by a series of horns and then the refrain REPLAY REPLAY REPLAY yeah.

The party when this banger dropped in Tel Aviv is going to be massive – that is, IF Tamta manages to nail the vocals in the live performance, an always tricky matter with bangers. Tamta isn’t doing any of the pre-parties, so I didn’t think we’d have a chance to evaluate her performance prior to rehearsal videos.

But then I saw this shaky cam video of someone who recorded half of Tamta’s acoustic performance of Replay at a press event:

And I suddenly feel like this woman:
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Who let this happen!

There was absolutely not a single person clamouring for a soulful acoustic version of Replay – NOT A ONE.

This whole performance is introducing into the universe a product which has no right to exist. They’ve taken an in-you-face assertion of the power of a woman’s vajayjay and replaced it with a soothing post-coital lullaby.

FINAL VERDICT: This one is a MARRY ME! Replay is an amazing banger. It’s not just Fuego-lite. Tamta doesn’t need to dance or do anything but stand there covered in tulle while honey-roasted men roll around her on stage and it will still be a great performance… IF she manages to nail the vocals.

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