There are so many reasons I should hate Mikolas Josef’s “Lie to Me.”
1. It’s the smarmy Robin Thicke entry of this year’s competition (see also Cheesecake, I Can’t Go On) – bangers that are fun to dance to and then you actually listen to the lyrics and go “Eeeew, that’s really sleazy.” In this case, it’s lyrics like “Quit sweet talking me now baby I don’t give a fuck/You should’ve thought about me before you fucked him at the club” (which, to his credit, have been changed for Eurovision)
2. It’s also incredibly derivative of other pop hits in a way that makes no sense. Ripping off Iggy Azalea’s “ggy” and Eminem’s “spaghetti’ with no context just makes me think the songwriters were scrambling around for context and couldn’t find anything better to do. And yes, there’s been a robust internet debate about whether this is an homage to these artists, but who wants to pay an homage to Iggy Azalea?
And yet, despite all of this, I unabashedly love this song. I love the handsome Mikolas Josef playing the fake geek boy, strutting with his backpack across the stage. I love the trumpet motif. I love the fact that he knows his girlfriend is messing around and that he doesn’t care. It’s a banger, all right, and for that, I can forgive it its many many sins. I’m not proud to like this song, but I really do like this song.
TWITTER JOKES YOU SHOULDN’T BOTHER MAKING BECAUSE THEY’VE ALREADY BEEN DONE BETTER BY THE EUROFANDOM: The backpack. We’ve all speculated about what’s in his backpack.
SHOULD YOU TAKE A PEE BREAK DURING HIS PERFORMANCE: Oh hell no. You should be dripping on wood. (Look, it’s a quote from the song, so don’t blame me).