Germany – Rockstars by Malik Harris

 Okay, before we talk about Rockstars, I want to show you this video from the Eurovision House Party, where Malik Harris absolutely kills it with a loop track (you know, that thing that Netta used when she won the competition?) 

Okay, Malik Harris absolutely kills it until he segues into a cover of Thrift Shop, a song that no one needs to hear again.

So now that we’ve heard Harris being very very good, let’s watch his Eurovision entry:

And he is – not NOT good, but also completely unmemorable. It’s like a supervillain has leached 90 percent of his charisma away with a cursed song. 

Since I have the Eurovision playlist in my ears most of the time, I have heard this song a million times. And yet, the only things I can remember about it are:

  • Yeah, we used to be Rockstars (also, WHEN? When you were 12? You’re a little young to be singing a song about misspent youth!)
  • The rap. Now people have compared his rapping style to Eminem, but I think a better comparison is Lin Manuel-Miranda, because this song has dropped us into the middle of a drama that we really don’t have the background for. This would work as the tortured Act 1 solo of a character whose life has to change, and the only way he can express that is by yelling at the audience. 

Anyway, in a year when every other Big 5 country is absolutely killing it, at least Malik Harris is guaranteed a place in the final.

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