There are two ways to deal with a breakup – one is to sob your heart out with a emotionally raw ballad – see Greece, Italy, and Sweden. The second way is to burst out on stage with a gloriously sassy kiss-off anthem – and that’s exactly what Ireland is delivering.
I mean, this woman has brought a money gun to spray the audience. She is calling her ex a lazy lover in front of an audience of HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS. This is the glow up to end all glow ups.
And yet, for some reason, this song is not catching on with some Eurovision fans, because they obviously love drama and hate fun – fun that comes in a package of very clever lyrics. Don’t be like that! Enjoy this very public burn book from someone who has clearly watched every series of Love Island!
Will Ireland win? No. Is Brooke still living her best life without a Eurovision trophy? Absolutely. Girl’s going to leave the stage and slam down some Aperol Spritzes until dawn. And you should enjoy her absolute joy at the single life a quarter of what she does.